The Ghost of Feedback Past: Why Timely Criticism Matters
Manager: “We need to return something” HR: “We need receipts.”Here’s how a typical conversation plays out: Manager: “XYZ on my team isn’t working out. I’ve been giving feedback regularly, but there’s no improvement. Can we start the exit process so I can open a replacement headcount?” HR: “Sorry to hear that. Could you share 3-5 examples of the feedback you’ve given in writing in the past few months?” Manager: “Uhhh, I’ve mentioned it in conversations so many times… team agrees too. We didn’t promote or give a big raise last year for a reason.” HR: “I checked last year’s performance review. It says ‘meeting expectations’ and no concerns are documented. Do we have any written feedback? You know, the kind that lawyers like?” Manager: “Hmm. I’ll dig through my emails. Or maybe we can eliminate the position? Or start a PIP now and I can document things moving forward?” Sound familiar? A classic case of “Feedback Ghosting” by the manager.
The Issue: Feedback AvoidanceLet’s face it—giving feedback isn’t a favorite pastime for most managers. Why?Confrontation is awkward.Writing things down feels too formal (or worse, like you’re drafting evidence for a court case).It’s easier to say, “Everyone knows XYZ’s not cutting it,” than to tell XYZ that directly.
But here’s the truth: Providing consistent, constructive feedback is a leader’s job and an employee’s right. It’s like skipping leg day at the gym—ignoring it may seem fine at first, but eventually, you’ll stumble (and it’s usually in front of HR or legal).Two Simple Fixes (No Gym Membership Required)
1. Make 1:1s Effortless – Stop overcomplicating it. Use OneNote, Trello, or any shared doc to jot down quick summaries and share them with your team members. Low effort, zero awkwardness, and future-you will be grateful when HR comes knocking.
Example: “Met today. Discussed XYZ’s workload prioritization and delays. Monthly reports due next Friday.”
2. Make sharing feedback a standing agenda item. Don’t make it a once-in-a-blue-moon event. Dedicate part of every 1:1 to feedback so it becomes routine on both ends, not a Band-Aid rip.
Example: “This week’s feedback: Killer presentation! But you’ve been quiet in backlog reviews—try reviewing tickets a day early to engage more.”If your feedback strategy is “I said it in my head” or “Too bad you can’t mind-read,” you’re setting up unnecessary drama down the lane, which is unfair to you and your team members. Regular documented feedback builds trust, makes tough talks way easier, and avoids inventing innovative legal loopholes to terminate the engagement.
Let’s normalize giving (and documenting) feedback—your employees and HR will thank you!