Professional Networking:Cost of an unsent message
Years back, I had lunch with one of my ex-leaders to catch up and it was great to hear about his group's impressive work. He attributed it to assembling a dream team from his network. Out of curiosity and some from a bruised ego, I asked why he hadn’t considered me, as I seemed a great fit for some roles. As a mentor, he said, “It was important for you to learn the cost of a message you didn’t send.” When he left the organization- like most people do- almost all of us added him on LinkedIn and never contacted him again beyond just doing the customary "like" or sending auto-generated messages for milestones and career accomplishments. Somehow we became one among the thousands of connections people usually have. When the opportunities were there within his team- he reached out to people who stayed in touch with him on a personal basis.
That conversation with him inspired a lot of thought-provoking questions and some insights which I would love to share in case it helps the readers.
In today's digital age- it’s not uncommon to have 500+ connections on a professional platform like LinkedIn. While there is nothing wrong with being connected to almost everyone with whom we cross paths- it does create an illusion of it being our true "professional network" whereas it’s just a massive pool of people we "may" have had a professional interaction with at some point of time. It is important to carve out the segment of people who would truly fall under your network and then it’s even more critical to stay in touch with them so that when the time comes, it’s organic to help each other out.
Let’s take an example- how many of us when in the middle of a job change- have sent out over 100 messages to people from our contact list? And what was the response rate? 10 or 15 max? Out of those 10 or 15- how many actively followed up and helped push our profile amongst their hiring leads etc.? The number drops to below 5. Try stepping into their shoes- they haven't heard from you for over a year or more- and now you are asking them to help out with a job search. Even if the empathy is there- the priority won’t be because somewhere the true "connection" was either faded or was not there to begin with. Engaging with your network is more than liking a post or sending generic messages when in need. It’s about genuine, ongoing interaction.
Here is a straightforward way to reset your networking approach:
Create categories of professionals you need in your network and their value and select 1-2 people for each. Starting list:
Recruiters- for career transitions, hiring needs, etc.
Hiring Leaders- People who hire others similar to your profile.
Vendors and service providers- People whose services you can use and refer to when a business need arises. Saves the risk of finding someone new at the last moment.
Peers- People in similar roles who might help you network but also share how they solved a problem or share the latest trends.
Alumni/Ex-Coworkers- Almost always an excellent idea to stay connected with them not just for reference sake but also for networking leads
For each category in your list- Set a schedule for checking in(literally book it on your calendars), which works for you BUT make it selfless and let it be a true catching up without any motive i.e. be prepared to share but also actively ask about how they are doing and if there is anything you can do to help. Examples:
Recruiter John Doe: Check in quarterly over coffee/lunch/zoom, discuss what kind of roles he is working on, anything you can do to help, etc.
Hiring leaders- Check-in 6 months over Zoom, discuss what business problems keep them up, and offer your insights, etc.
Don’t be afraid to sanitize this list often. If there are too many names then somewhere quality of check in will dilute due to time constraint so be prepared to keep the list active and relevant at all times.
At first, this approach felt like over-engineering. But over time, it reduced noise, strengthened relationships, and made people remember and prioritize me. You will be pleasantly surprised how far along true connections go versus an ever increasing count of followers.
